Going through a divorce or separation is difficult – especially when children are involved. Many parents have urgent questions about their rights, responsibilities, and what the law says about arrangements for their children.
At THP Solicitors, our family law specialists regularly advise on these issues, helping parents reach practical, child-focused solutions. If you need broader guidance on the legal process, you can learn more on our divorce and family law page.
Below, Richard Rodway and Julia Drury answer some of the most common questions parents ask about child arrangements, maintenance, and parental responsibility in England and Wales.
We have also separate articles where we have answered your questions about divorce and money & divorce and property.
Can my child’s other parent reduce what they are paying in child maintenance?
Child maintenance in the UK is usually calculated using the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) formula. This considers:
- The paying parent’s income
- Number of children involved
- Number of children living with the paying parent
- How often the child stays overnight with them
Either parent can request a reassessment if circumstances change.
However:
- If child maintenance is set out in a court order, the CMS cannot reassess it for 12 months
- The amount in the order must continue to be paid during that time
If payments are reduced or stopped without agreement:
- You may be able to recover arrears
- The CMS or Court can take enforcement action
What if my child doesn’t want to see their other parent?
Courts in England and Wales generally believe that a child benefits from a relationship with both parents.
A court will only stop contact completely in exceptional circumstances, where there is strong evidence.
When deciding, the court considers:
- The child’s welfare (this is the top priority)
- The child’s wishes and feelings
- Their age and maturity
In many cases, the court may suggest:
- Shorter visits
- Supervised contact
- Neutral meeting locations
Children’s views usually carry more weight from around age 10 onwards. Court orders typically cannot apply after age 16, unless exceptional circumstances exist.
Can I stop the other parent from having contact with our child/ren?
You can stop contact if you genuinely believe your child is at risk of harm.
However:
- If a Child Arrangements Order is in place, you must apply to vary the order rather than simply ignoring it
- In emergencies, you can act immediately — but must apply to court as soon as possible
If no agreement can be reached, you can apply using a C100 form, but you are usually required to attend mediation first.
Stopping contact without valid safety concerns is discouraged. Courts may instead consider:
- Limited or structured contact arrangements
- Supervised contact
Do I need my child’s other parent’s permission to relocate with my child/ren either abroad or in the UK?
Moving abroad with a child
You must have:
- Consent from everyone with Parental Responsibility, or
- A Relocation Order (Leave to Remove) from the court
Taking a child abroad without consent may be considered child abduction (a criminal offence).
Moving within the UK
Relocating within the UK is more flexible, but:
- You still need agreement from others with Parental Responsibility
- A move can be challenged if it affects the other parent’s relationship with the child
Key rule
Major decisions require agreement, including:
- Changing schools
- Medical decisions
- Religion
- Relocation
If you cannot agree, you may need to apply to court.
Do I need the other parent’s permission to take my child/ren abroad on holiday?
Yes — unless one of the following applies:
You have a “lives with” Child Arrangements Order:
- You can take your child abroad for up to 28 days without consent
BUT:
- You must not breach other parts of the order (e.g. contact time)
If no order is in place:
- You must have consent from everyone with Parental Responsibility
Taking a child abroad without permission could result in:
- Breach of a court order
- Legal action
Can I stop my ex-spouse’s new partner from having contact with our child/ren?
In most cases, no. You can only prevent this if:
- The new partner poses a risk to your child’s safety or wellbeing
If you have serious concerns, you may need to:
- Apply for a Child Arrangements Order, or
- Apply to vary an existing order
The court will always decide based on the child’s best interests.
If the issue is not about safety, you could:
- Use mediation to resolve concerns
- Agree a gradual introduction
Can the other parent dictate how I parent our child and vice versa?
No — not in day-to-day matters.
Each parent can make everyday decisions when the child is in their care, such as:
- Bedtimes
- Diet
- Activities
However, both parents must agree on major decisions, including:
- Education
- Medical treatment
- Religion
- Relocation
Can I change my child’s name without the other parent’s consent?
No — not unless:
- Everyone with Parental Responsibility agrees, or
- You obtain a court order
If court permission is needed, you must apply for a Specific Issue Order.
The court will:
- Notify the other parent
- Consider both sides
- Decide based on the child’s best interests
How we can help with children arrangements
Whether you are seeking our advice to reach an agreement with the other parent or find yourself making or defending a Court application, our specialist solicitors have helped many parents resolve these issues in a measured and practical way, with the child’s best interests at heart, and can advise you based on the specific facts of your case.
To speak to one of our family law solicitors, please contact:
- Julia Drury on 0118 975 6622 (Lower Earley office)
- Richard Rodway on 01491 570 900 (Henley-on-Thames office)
You can also email us confidentially at office@thpsolicitors.co.uk.